August, 2010 - Every year, around my B-day, there is a beer festival in Belgrade. It is always much anticipated by everyone (mostly men), since there are free concerts, masses of people and liters and liters of all kinds of beer at low prices at one place. What more could one ask for? However, I cannot remember when I was there last, expect from this year, of course. I know that last year I was not even interested in going, the one before I was in Italy, etc. But, this year I knew I would be in the city and since it coincided with my birthday, I decided to visit it and to organize my party there – and, oh boy, was it a brilliant choice!!!
The festival opened on Wednesday and the same day my dear friends, Yanin& Robert, arrived in Belgrade. My initial plan was to take them out to a fancy place, but Robert asked me if we could go to the Festival and how could I say “no” to my guests? So, swapping the high heels and an elegant dress with casual clothes and flip-flops, off we went to Usce – a vast open-air area, just next to the confluence of the Sava and the Danube. The starry sky and cool weather (and me being able to find a nice parking place!) made the event even better. So, arriving to the venue, Yanin, Robert, my school-friend Olja and me made our way to the stand with the best flavored beer in the world – Black Turtle Pub. Now, at this point I have to mention that I did not expect anything of the festival – I was only there because of my friends, the beer and the music. Boys-watching was not even the last item on my agenda – the idea that I might see a handsome male did not even cross my mind. But, the best things in life are unplanned and come spontaneously. So, after 20 minutes, I realized something was strange - the beer and the music were not on the top on my “pleasure list” any more. I observed, as did some other girls, single and with boyfriends, that there is abundance of young, good-looking guys around. As one of my friends pointed out:” Despite the crowd, I find it difficult to watch where I’m going, there’s too much distraction!”. Passing next to a girl, I head her saying:” Oh, Jesus, I wish I was single!”. And they were totally right. Everywhere around, left, right, behind, in front there were simple, causally-dressed, relaxed, smiling men, drinking beer and obviously doing the same things as us – checking out girls. I am sure that they were also very pleasantly surprised –although beer-drinking is not considered lady-like in Belgrade, there was a lot of cute and enthusiastic girls, too.
My next evening at the Fest was Friday – and again, I wished my neck could rotate for 360°, I nearly tripped and fell down for several times, spilled my beer on myself and someone else and could not stop grinning – it’s impossible to push through the crowd where something catches your attention all the time. Here, I must pause and say that, the guys who were with me that evening were also good-looking and nice, as well as my female friends, so there must have been people jealous of us – I’ve never been modest!
Anyway, my point is NOT that the Festival was great just because of lovely, young people all around. What I want to know is – where, oh, where do they go when it is NOT Beer Festival? Seriously, I go to lots of places, but never (at least not so recently that I can remember!) did I see so many attractive men (here, I must say “men”, otherwise people might think I’ve turned lesbian!) at one place. Just as so you know, I DO NOT go out in order to admire guys, but when there is such a large number of a desirable specimen at one place, it cannot go unnoticed. Just a few days ago, I went to Insomnia, the “hot-spot” of sexy people. Nothing. Seriously. There was not a single man that caught my eye. (OK, OK, maybe just one, but he’s too old and too snobbish for me). The only man I whose attention I was trying to draw was the waiter!
So, my crucial question is: WHERE do beautiful people go out? Do they go out at all? In which hole do they hide before and after mid-August? Are their extraterrestrials? If they are, what planet do they live on?
I’ve come to one important conclusion – not only Serbian girls are impossibly hot, as the general opinion is. We can also brag with the beauty of our men. A few of my foreign, straight AND gay friends, have asked me:” Maya, what do so gorgeous Serbian girls see in these fat, bald, sturdy men who wear shorts, sneakers and wife-beater shirts when they go out? Why are Serbian girls so stunning and guys are so…plain?” I could not give them a better answer than the most diplomatic ones “Not everything is about physical appearance” and “It’s all about chemistry”.
However, they were wrong and so was I – Serbian men are not plain. They are not unattractively bald- they have sexy gray hairs in Clooney’s style and even if they are bald, it’s the Bruce Willis’s kind of baldness – totally awesome! They are not fat- they are tall, muscular and well-built. They are not metrosexuals– they are a sport nation and dress accordingly. They simply do not go to the places I go to.
In conclusion, Serbian men are equally gorgeous as Serbian girls. But, the lingering, mysterious and puzzling question is – where do they hide?
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